I am up later than I planned once again….ughhh…I am totally a night owl who wishes I was the ‘early bird’ you know the one everybody says ‘gets the worm’…..but I am just not….no worms for me in the morning. Guess I will have to stick to a second pot of coffee instead.
I think I am a later nighter b/c it is the only time of the day that I am in TOTAL control. No one needs anything. It is just me, myself, and I. I can do whatever I want!!!
So anyway on to my “deep thought of the night” and why I am still up…ha!!!
I am preparing a talk for an adoptive mom’s retreat next weekend and I had an “epiphany” tonight. Since that rarely happens I thought I should put it down in writing for all of the world to know (please hear the sarcasm in that)….so here is my deep thought for the night….
If we REALLY I mean R.E.A.L.L.Y. really really believed like ‘heart and soul’ believed that God, the creator of the universe, that holds all of time and eternity in His hands SEES us….like totally absolutely (but not in a scary Santa Clause naughty/nice list kind of way…but in a loving tender way) maybe just maybe we would not work so hard to be seen??? Maybe it would release us from working at “making our names known” or “making something great out of ourselves” and maybe it would allow us to give our ego a big ol’ much needed fat time out. Maybe it would not be all about us anymore. We would feel totally known and loved. TOTALLY. Nothing to prove. Nothing to hide. Naked and not ashamed kind of love.
Think about it…how much of our time is spent trying to explain ourselves to others, or make sure we are not being misunderstood, or make sure we are loved, known, seen, and hoping that others approve of us.
BUT HE really KNOWS us. He SEES us, He LOVES us.
I think if we marinated in that truth for a while our hearts would be a bit more free to give and receive love.
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
Blessings and freedom to be known and loved.
Now off to the nest for a little shut eye before the little chicks wake up,