Months and months and months passed. YoYo managed to sneak into our conversations weekly. How was her health? Was her file being processed in China yet? Was God preparing a family for her? Was she thriving and growing?
There was even a time of wondering if God was putting her on the heart of some friends to adopt her. Maybe that was going to be how the story ended? Maybe we would be Uncle Mo and Auntie Tona.
We sent periodic emails to the adoption agency asking about her. They never gave us any hope that we could adopt her and they were not at liberty to tell us how she was doing because of protecting her privacy. So we waited, grieved, and began to embrace the honest reality that she was probably not our daughter. That we needed to advocate for her. Help others see the need to adopt medically fragile kids. I began to ask God if He could just let me at least know the people that adopted her. Maybe that would help make sense of why we felt so connected to her. Maybe we could tell her mom and dad that we had been praying for them since Oct 2012. That we had been praying over their daughter daily. “Please at least let me know where she goes in the future Lord.”
Fast forward to Fall 2013. Without sharing too many rabbit trail details, we found ourselves calling an adoption agency about another child in China with the same liver condition. We saw his information online. He is a total pumpkin.
“Lord if not YoYo for us, maybe this one?”
But how could we adopt another child and not her?
Should we start the process to adopt from China and maybe she will still be waiting by the time we are done?
OHHH the questions.
Begging God to make it crystal clear. Lead us clearly. Write it on the WALLS of our hearts Lord. Show us what if anything we are to do. You promise that your sheep will know your voice. You promise if we call to you, you will answer and tell us great and unsearchable things (Jer 33:3). We are calling out and listening oh Lord.
Nov 5th 2013 was an especially hard day. It was the birthday of the other little boy that we had inquired about. He turned 1 yr. old that day. I was blue. Sad. Grieving. Full of emotion. The kids even knew it was his birthday b/c I was weepy. We had been praying for him.
In the midst of my emotion and schooling the kids I missed a phone call and voicemail.
Nov 6th I woke earlier than normal. I found myself at the keyboard. I typed what I knew I would never post but needed to get out on paper. It was an announcement of sorts to tell the world (since the world reads my blog =) ) that we were going to take a crazy risk. In fact the name of the blog was “God is the God of the Impossible”. I wrote how Mo and I were feeling led to start the adoption journey b/c we had fallen in love with two kids that we could not get. B/c their paperwork and our timing were off. B/c they were not “labeled” correctly and we could not pre identify them, lock their files, and then start. They needed families way ahead of us in the process. By the time we got all our adoption stuff done they would be matched with someone else. And we could not bear to fall this deeply in love with another child and not be able to adopt them. So we were starting the adoption journey with no promises, no guarantees, but hoping against hope that God might see fit to allow us to adopt YoYo and/or the other child we had grown to love. But we knew if neither one of them, then He would provide. He would knit our heart to another child. He is able to do that.
I sat my entry aside.
It had served its purpose for the morning. It was a safe place for me to process. It provided a place for me to see how I FELT saying those words. I would read it to Mo when he got home. See what He thought. Ask if he was ready.
I started to do home schooling with the other kiddos.
I checked my email.
And there it was. An email from the adoption agency~ “Hi Tona, I wanted to follow up as I left a message yesterday at your home for you about the little one you had been asking about known as Yossell. Can you give me a call as soon as you are able? Thanks!”
I called Mo. Through an ugly cry, I read him what I had written only an hour before. Then I read him the email. “I think she is about to offer us the option to look at Yossell’s file”.
His response “Call her and tell her YES. Let’s go get our daughter.”
I am not sure I was breathing at this moment. I could not believe what was happening. Oh my goodness Lord. Are you doing what I think you are doing? Are you about to make YoYo our daughter???
I called. Yossell’s label in China had been changed. She was no longer labeled as an LID (log in date) only child. She was now a Special Focus child. She could be pre identified and her file locked by a family that had not started the adoption process yet. A family JUST LIKE US!!!
Within a few minutes, they emailed us her file. But we KNEW before we opened it that she was our daughter. Nothing inside her paperwork would change that.
So to pick back up on “The Story of Her Name”
Her file included her full Chinese name.
We are not going to share her whole Chinese name online, but we will tell you what it means.
There are 3 parts. Her surname which is like our last name. Then two other parts of her name.
Her surname means ~ “BOAT.” Hold that thought I will come back to that
The first part of her name means ~ “YOU”
The 2nd part of her name means ~ “WANT TO”
I have been told be a few close friends I should not share with you what happened next b/c you might think I am little crazy. But I have decided you probably already do, so I have nothing to lose.
As I said in Part 2 of this story her English name Yossell means ~ “GOD ADDS”.
So with Yossell and her first two Chinese names it translates “to me” =) as…..
You Want(ed) God to Add.
Why yes Lord we did!!!! He heard our hearts cry. He is adding her to our family!!!
Now about the “boat” part ~ that might be one of the biggest “I SEE YOU MOMENTS of MY LIFE”. That word “boat” is for one of our other kids. For God to bring us the comfort and confidence we needed to know that adding to our family will be a good thing in this other child’s life. There is NO other word I can think of in the English language that would have communicated that to us more.
“Tona I am giving this child – Boat – as their sister. I have this covered. Totally beautifully covered. You trust me. You asked me to write it on the wall. I did.”
AMAZING. Totally absolutely AMAZING.
I was in shocked silence for the first few days. The child that we had prayed specifically for for over a year was our daughter!!!!!!!!!!!! God had moved mountains, calmed raging fears, and whispered gentle words of affirmation that it was no longer time to wait. It was time to act.
Part 4 to be continued….but until then you can keep calling her YoYo.