I have been M.I.A. this week…you can find me buried somewhere under the craziness of Christmas preparation, party hosting, adoption paperwork, home study prep at my house, and life.
The reality that we are doing this AGAIN is settling over me more and more and hits in waves. Sometimes overwhelming joy. Sometimes paralyzing panic.
Case in point ~ this past Sunday morning. Being a campus pastor, Mark is out the door to church alone and early on Sunday mornings. Leaving me to get the crew up, ready, and out the door….which is why we attend the latest service possible=). As we were running crazy late, and I had one middle school girl melting down over her hair, a energetic boy who just took his steroids bouncing off the walls, a super compliant child, who is always up and ready, but this particular day was having a crisis of attire, and a teenage son who was sleeping like a hibernating bear….I thought WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE WE DOING??????? These children can DRESS THEMSELVES. They can BRUSH THEIR OWN TEETH. They can even pour THEMSELVES a bowl of cereal…and we are STILL RUNNING LATE!!!! I am turning 40 years old in less than 3 weeks…..WHAT ARE WE DOING ADOPTING A TODDLER??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????? In essence starting over. Dax is 9yrs old. Mae is 17 months. That is over a 7 yr gap. WHAT IN THE WORLD???? I am shopping in the toddler section AGAIN!!!! SUREAL.
And just when I think maybe we have lost our minds I catch a glimpse of the WHO. The WHY. The TRUTH. The HOPE. The JOY. The precious little one that God has chosen to bless our family with. I suddenly feel this deep instinctual drive to GET to HER!!!!!!!!!! To wrap my momma arms around her and kiss the top of her head. The moments of fear fad away and SHE ~ Mae Yossell ~ replaces them all. I suddenly feel that super momma power that would move heaven and earth for your child. And then the “I HAVE TO”…..help a little one get dressed, learn to potty, brush their teeth, and pour some more juice (a million times)…..blossoms into “I GET TO”. I get to.
Children are a gift. Never ever to be taken for granted. God is blessing us with another one!!!!!!!!! Now that is an amazing Christmas present!!! So I am taking a deep breath, embracing my busy days, loving my hubby and kiddos, and KEEPING MY EYES SET ON THE HOPE BEFORE ME IN CHRIST.
Praying you each have a great Christmas week as you keep your eyes focused on the GREATEST GIFT of all….Jesus.