Abiding in Him, Adoption, Parenting

The Gift of Waiting

I really can’t believe I just typed that title. The G.I.F.T. of waiting??!!!???

The honest reality is most days waiting seems nothing at all like a gift. It resembles something more like a painful suffocating loss. The loss of another day without. Without the thing your heart longs for. Without the news you deeply want. Without. Loss.

Waiting to me in this moment, is another day without our daughter in our arms. Another day without her smiles and tears. Another day of development we don’t get to celebrate. Another day with no hugs, no physical love and nurture expressed from us to her.

But the Lord has been gently reminding me HE is here in this moment. He is here in the wait. He is enough to sustain my restless heart. His manna and portion are enough. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just enough.

And that reminder somehow is like a wonderful gift that needed to be unwrapped again.

The remembering that comes with waiting is taking me back to deep waters. Oh to be sure, I have been here before, so the ways of waiting are somewhat familiar, but each journey reveals something new in me. Something more of Him.

So each time I come back to this place of desperate waiting, I see the gift.

The gift of His presence carrying me on. Helping me love well in the now, in the wait.

The reality that He is there with her as He has been since the moment He knit her together in her mother’s womb.

And I lean heavily on Him asking Him to comfort her in miraculous ways, to send gentle loving people to care not only for her body but for her heart, to reveal Himself to her in her dreams, to do the healing in her heart that only He can do and to start that without us even there to participate. For Him to move, to touch, to heal.

He is not only my present help and comfort –  He is hers too. That reminder, that truth is a gift worth unwrapping a million times over.

So until I hug Mae Yossell’s precious neck, I cling to His with all my might.

What are you waiting on? May you see and experience His gentle, tender love for you in the deep waters of waiting.



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